Quotes

Forewarning, I'm going to write about some pent up thoughts. There's not really a purpose otherwise, so don't expect it.

I've been thinking a lot about quotes lately and their uses. I'll write down inspirational quotes to myself in hopes that I'll stumble upon them later in my life when I need them again (and thanks to a recent class, I even write down my thoughts next to them). I don't take notes at church because I feel that if I ever have to stand up for the gospel, I won't have my church journal there to back me up. I keep a journal, but lately I've felt it's not enough to just list my daily activities. I want to write about how those activities make me feel! What questions I have, what decisions I have made. And when I write them down I want them to be comprehensible so that I'm not just writing them down to become shut up in some journal collecting dust in the drawer under my bed. I want to be quotable, not out of vanity, but out of a hope that what I say and feel can help another person.

But anything I say has been said before. But that doesn't matter! So what if the ideas I have are written down in some other person's musings or other great works. The people I associate with may never find those thoughts! I love opinions! I collect them (which is not the same as agreeing with them, of course).

What do I agree with then? With the array of opinions out there and with so many confronting me...it's hard to decide sometimes. I don't like to fall back on the excuse, "Oh, I have an open mind to anything." No. I have opinions. I allow those opinions to change based on new ideas that are presented to me and I feel that they are worth changing my ideals for. But to allow your opinions to fluctuate whimsically in order to appease other's opinions is not for me. I'll usually respond "I can see where you are coming from." But then I have to think about it more. It's like...my own opinion is at the core and then I allow for branches of unique circumstances to attach themselves to it. I quite relish the challenge of knowing your own opinion and what you want to stand for.

So when people do like my opinions, it's weird. I don't take compliments well. I've had people compliment me on my thoughts or testimony and I try to recieve them graciously. But I never feel like I do. I'm so suspicious of them...So I suppose there's the paradox. I'm trying to get over my suspicions now and I'm trying to share my thoughts more.

Wish me luck I suppose.