Religion Classes

Today was the first day of classes for me. I had three classes and a great amount of apprehension. Sadly, my mischeivious side came out right after my first class and therefore most of my respect for the syllabi I was about to dissect went out the window. It would be against every fiber in my body if I did not make fun of one professor in particular. He is my religion teacher. Sadly, I am also registered in a Freshman class whilst being a Junior. So forewarning, the following misery is mostly self-inflicted.

His first mistake was wanting to be funny. He was very amusing, to be sure. But when you are shooting for the 'freshman giggle' affect, your credibility as a comedian is lessoned. So what do I want him to learn? It's not that hard to get freshman (or sometimes freshie, slang plural frosh accd. to wikipedia) who are in a large group to laugh.

Secondly and Lastly, he has forbidden newspapers in the classroom. All I have to say to that is I will hold to my Walden ways and refuse to follow this unjust law! I do sudoku to stay awake in my classes...so he'd better be one captivating teacher if I'm to not rebel in this case and it's been 2 years since I've had a teacher that captivating that I can't do sudoku and listen to them at the same time!

Ok, that's all I really had to complain about for that teacher. It will be an excellent class for sure. With three papers surprisingly...

I do however need to make fun of a pamphlet he gave me. It is titled, "New Student Guide to Religious Education"

Highlights:

Question 2: "What takes place in a Religious Class?"
Really? Well, for anyone still wondering, the answer is mocking of freshman. There, I said it.

Question 6: "What does a Poor Grade in a Religion Course Signify?"
It means that you don't have a testimony OBVIOUSLY. If you asked this question to ANYONE outside of the LDS church, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it 'signifies' that you didn't do the course work, didn't study for the tests, and didn't learn what the basics of what that religion believes. Harsh, but true.

And you know what? That stupid pamphlet agrees with me.

Your Mom

I find it a personal pass time of mine to turn everyday sayings into 'insults' by informing people that their mom also participates in the activity. Such as "You're MOM plays Chess!". Something ridiculous like that. So when I was sent this comic about momsicles, I decided that everyone needed to know about it. Plus it's Pearls Before Swine! How could you go wrong?

-Strawboat

 

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Finals Hot Steam Release

Tar.

That substance that kills elephants. It also happens to hold most of our roads together! Did you know that if you drive at high speeds over recently laid down tar that it splatters over the front of your vehicle? Well, let me tell you! It does! It also gets on your shoes if you walk over it and you track it everywhere...but that is less relevant.

I rant because I had to clean tar off of a truck today. I've had to clean tar off of a car before and, to be quite honest, it's not that hard with a bottle of the orange stuff. Anyways, it is generally not accepted as the most pleasant of ideas by society. I had multiple people tell me of the horrible situation I'd gotten myself into. One man (my favorite) said "What did you do to get stuck doing that!?". The answer is that I was doing my job. Truth be told, most people express their sympathy that way. They can sympathize, and I can think to myself how there are worse things I could be doing for 8 bucks an hour. :D

FW:

So I was sent this and thought it amusing! :D Enjoy~!

-Strawboat

Bill Gates and the president of General Motors have met for lunch, and Bill is going on and on about computer technology. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour," says Gates. "Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. Why haven't you guys kept up?"

The president of GM smiles and says, "Because the federal government won't let us build cars that crash four times a day."

---

Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync. Check it out.

En Guarde!

I have a confession to make. It's been awhile coming...2 whole weeks in fact. I've secretly taken up two new hobbies, both of which I've been dreaming of taking up for about 5 years now.

First, is learning Shorthand.

I was inspired by a lawyer in my church's home ward. She told me that she had learned it before college and now used it for taking notes in the court room. At one point in time, her notes were called forth as evidence. She didn't want this cause it would go against her case. Luckily the opponent claimed "I don't know how to read THIS! Have her translate it!" and the judge didn't make her do it.

There. Proof. Shorthand is tight.

Anyways, so I've always wanted to learn and now I am teaching myself! It's quite fun, but I'm, like, on a 2nd grade level. I'm currently doing exercises like "Write the word CAT" and I have to sound it out and such. I mostly practice in my linear algebra class because the professor is number crunching and I don't need to pay attention. I imagine I look pretty weird though...in the middle of a math class sounding out the word cat to myself...maybe I aught to just stick to sudoku in math class...

Second is picking up fencing!

This one I'm oober excited about! I've always wanted to take it up, ever since I watching the Princess Bride...no! Even before then! I've wanted to forever! It's in my very blood!!! Yes...


Anyways, I've been going for the past two weeks and I've decided I'm going to pick it up and do it. It is allegedly a life-long sport! And I need a sport to play anyways...

If you know fencing...I apologize for the bad footwork, but I wanted to share some photos we'd taken! I'm in the blue! And there's a video too ( let's hope it works! ) so...yay fencing!

To explain this video, I'm going against the instructor. The video cuts out some of the action, but you can be comforted in the fact that I lost this point :D

So...the kuh-aat is ow-oot of the baa-guh. But it's so exciting to pick up new things! Now I just have to get good at them!